A Retro Review – NARC

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presents a 


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	(NES)
	(Action/Adventure)
	(Single/Multiplayer)
	(Coolness guaranteed)
	(Good game)
	Oozing ‘tude out of the seams Instant action-packed gameplay Great over-the-top characters
	Clunky controls Mediocre visuals Not enough variety
	Though not complex or innovative enough to stand out gameplay-wise, NARC’s b-rated movie quality cheese combined with its simplicity and multiplayer ability make it worth walking a beat through these oddball streets if even just for a quick laugh

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Story

Drugs and other illegal activities have run amok thanks to Mr. Big and his criminal organization. While many people wanted Mr. Big put out of business, no one had the guts… until now. The chairman of the Narcotics Opposition has commissioned his two toughest officers, Max Force & Hit Man, to put a stop to all this debauchery and send Mr. Big to the slammer for good!

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Overview

NARC is a side-scrolling shooter game where your goal is to eliminate the criminal element in your city through superior firepower! Each level consists of blasting through drug dealers and other offenders as you walk from the starting point to the exit which can only be unlocked by retrieving that levels “safe card”- found as a random drop from a fallen foe. You have two main attacks, your machine gun and missile launcher, with which to cause damage to enemies but you can also “arrest” some by touching them with your character and holding still on them for a few seconds which gives you additional points. Further bonuses like contraband can be picked up for more scoring options and you can also drive the Porsche in the Bridge stage!

Teach these lawbreakers what “just say no” is all about as you aggressively uphold the public trust across 7 levels in either single or multiplayer and bust/eliminate all sorts of crazy deviants in your quest to clean up the streets! Each area brings a new type of wacky criminal such as Dr. Spike Rush, the cities local underground chemist who hurls giant hypodermic needles at you or Joe Rockhead, the hopped-up garbage man with superhuman strength who requires many more bullets than the normal bad guy to take down. Make your way through each level and into the darkest underbelly of Mr. Big’s drug running organization to confront the drug kingpin himself and destroy him to complete the game.

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Cast

Max Force (main protagonist) Cartel-destroying supercop supreme

Hit Man (2nd player protagonist) Max’s brutality loving back-up… no relation to Bret Hart

Dr. Spike “Hypoman” Rush (antagonist support) Twacked-out chemist working for Mr. Big… unofficial Guinness Book holder for “creator of the largest hypodermic needle”

Joe “Dumpster Man” Rockhead (antagonist support) Unstable pcp addict hell-bent on punching a hole through everything in his vicinity

Kinky Pinky (antagonist support) A deranged sex offender posing as a clown for extra creepiness… also available for birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs, fundraisers, etc.

Sgt. Skyhigh (antagonist support) Overly aggressive “hippie” ready to let his bullets fly towards any would-be confiscators of his foliage… has questionable military credentials

Mr. Big (main antagonist) Top of the drug food-chain… severed head with a smile

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We’ll Send The Next Of Kin A Copy Of The Warrant (XL section)

“Winners don’t use drugs.” As a kid, this was a phrase that I remember reading a lot as I spent many an afternoon staring blankly into countless arcade machines. While it seemed like nothing more than positive propaganda, it never applied to the games that contained it in any kind of literal sense… until now! NARC took an aggressive approach to this traditional slogan by slapping convention in the face and bringing swift unhinging justice to all the crime of the world… WITH MISSILES!!! “Just say no”… more like JUST SAY MOW as in mow down everyone and everything you see with your machine guns (all right it’s a bit of a stretch)! Or perhaps… we “D.A.R.E.” you to find a better drug enforcement game ( and… I’m done)?

Starting off its life appropriately in the arcades , NARC flashed with an instant ‘tudey brilliance as it told the story of two cops who blasted through wave after wave of charismatic criminals for the sake of peace, justice and points and I was stoked when this co-op classic made its way home to the NES. NARC stars Max Force  and Hit Man   (are you guys real cops?), two Narcotics officers who have apparently been given the green light to kick the doors in on the local drug trafficker, Mr. Big  and halt his operation for good. However in order to do this, they’re gonna have to survive the onslaught of his huge organization made up of peddlers, pimps, thieves, etc. and they don’t plan on going down without a fight. Are you the one with the guts that the game box is talking about?

Pressing start instantly zooms you to a dossier screen where you can briefly learn about the upcoming level’s featured enemy and also chuckle at the funny mugshot they have for each of these over-the-top criminal exaggerations. Next thing you know, your racing into the zone with your Porscheand your character jumps out of the car while going max speed like a total boss, leaving your obviously standard issue police vehicle in a controlled tailspin that probably parks itself perfectly offscreen  (or careens into a nearby telephone pole – either way… BADASS!). Be prepared to introduce yourself to the cities underworld of crime gun-first to extend the laws long arm in your fair town once and for all!

The game will default in single player but a second person can join in at any time “arcade style” for twice the justice serving power. Enemies waste no time flocking you and engaging quickly so be prepared to start enforcing the law with your guns! You have 2 attacks, machine guns and missiles, both requiring ammunition which can be obtained by defeating adversaries and collecting more that drop on the ground so always stay on the look-out.

Shooting with your machine gun is pretty satisfying but if you really want to make an impact in the drug community, blow these criminals into charcoal chunks with your missile launcher ! It’s freakin’ brutal and you’ll be hard pressed to find any single cooler thing you can do on the NES! In addition to your arsenal, you can also arrest some enemies by holding still over them until they hold their hands up and after a second or 2 they fly off the screen to be collected as points at level’s end. You even get to drive the Porsche in level 3 which is stylin’ and comes equipped with front-mounted machine guns for maximum innocence protection but unfortunately it doesn’t last long enough as too many obstacles prevent you from having more fun with it.

NARC’s criminal rundown is pretty funny and the dossiers at the beginning of each stage add personality to what would probably be just more random 8-bit characters otherwise which is a nice touch. How can you not want to bust hardened dudes such as Dr. Spike Rush (aka Hypoman)  who destroy the community with their human-sized hypodermic needles or Kinky Pinky , your cities local sex-trafficking porno clown, plus more? Why stop at just catching the big fish though? There’s plenty of smaller fry to stack your quota with such as multitudes of the Das Lof Gang , reckless drivers who need their licenses revoked and… dogs  (pretty much).

These deviants can also drop contraband when gunned down such as money or drugs which can be collected for extra points however you also need to do this in order to find the level’s “safe” card which is the key to unlocking the exit of the stage. While the gameplay is relatively simple, its arcade-like nature lends itself well to the “just want to pick up a game and start playing” crowd disregarding long-winded story dialogue and bringing you right into the action. Despite the fact that some of the run and gun mechanics can become monotonous, the game is short enough (only 7 levels) that this feels more nullified than it otherwise would in a longer game. Seems like the wheels of justice in NARC are attached to a race car (it’s about time)!

The controls are a little sloppy on the NES compared to its arcade counterpart but they’re not broken. The arcade version featured a 4-button layout to perform your jumps, crouches, machine guns and missiles but the NES version “fit” these 4 commands into 2 buttons by tapping them to jump and shoot your missiles and pressing them to crouch and shoot your machine gun. While this does ultimately work okay, there’s really no way to avoid accidentally shooting a missile from time-to-time which can be frustrating. Also, attempting to jump and shoot at the same time feels clunky (and looks really dumb) which can make defending yourself against those attack helicopters a chore. While they’re certainly playable and not game-breaking, they are an acquired taste that takes time to adapt to in order to maximize your chances at making it through to the end. 

The sound effects are forgettable but I love the catchy music which helps maintain a seedy undertone as you kick the rocks over on all of Mr. Big’s illegal operations. There’s not a ton of variety since the level count is low but what is here feels perfectly grungy and accompanies the crime-busting adventure like a machine gun with a missile launcher attachment. No wonder they’re wearing those helmets, I bet they get great headphone quality!

The graphics are a mixed bag of distinguishable sprites and dull backgrounds. The color palette is surprisingly varied for the NES and ranges from bland browns and yellows to bright blues and greens which adds depth to the visuals but all-in-all they’re not overly impressive. What is that thing picking the letters ? Is it a pink airplane? I know it’s supposed to be a finger but it cracks me up every time I see it. “We will be making our approach to the letter a in about fifteen minutes.” 

The ‘Tude Meter reads off the charts from start to finish on this one. Max Force & Hit Man  (honestly those names are great) look rad as hell with their battle suits, machine guns and “Just say no” Porsche and it gets even more ‘tudey with suggestive themes not normally seen on the NES and the ability to BLOW PEOPLE UP which still ranks as one of my favorite things you can do on the plucky ole’ Nintendo EVER! Even the final boss encounter with Mr. Big is full of awesomeness as you battle his disembodied head until he turns into a skull for one last hurrah! HELL YEAH! Definitely the high point for the game.

In the end, it’s hard for me to not have a soft spot for the simple yet rebellious NARC. It’s a pretty faithful arcade port but more importantly it has true co-op (like Contra) which added tons of replay value and always made this a go-to for sleepovers and after-school play sessions. The premise is cool and the criminals are memorable with their laughable caricatures which gives the game charm. It’s not perfect by any means but ultimately it’s fun enough in short bursts to be a rad time whether playing alone or with friends. It might seem like peer pressure but “Just say yes” to NARC to protect and serve these scum-filled streets with your explosive arsenal today!

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Critical Analysis

4/5 The game won’t get any points for originality in design (find key, reach locked door to exit level, etc.) and it does have redundancy problems but overall I will always love the simple nature of arcade style games such as this as it bypasses having to wade through lines of text and jumps you directly into the action. I absolutely love the enemies as well who contain way more personality in their little 8-bit bodies than most sprites of this time period. Come here Joe Rockhead , I’m gonna shoot you directly in the face with a tomahawk missile!

3/5 Even though I’ve been able to sort of adapt to this games odd control scheme over the years, there’s still no way for me to not accidentally shoot a missile or jump in the air even today which still annoys me. Games like this made me wish that the NES did what Sega did later on and release a controller with additional buttons on it which would have been awesome. They work okay enough however and at least respond well in every other way especially after giving them enough time to marinate in your mind.

4/5 I would consider this department excellent if the sound effects were a little more memorable but the music is great and I find myself humming random tunes from the game after playing it. Every stage has a great beat-driven theme to it that pairs nicely with the seedy criminal backdrop and it keeps you pumped as you blast through Mr. Big’s crime syndicate. Let’s see what kind of sound system this Porsche has got!

3/5 Nothing too memorable here though it’s certainly not anywhere near the worst graphics you’ll see on the system. I actually like the range of colors in NARC and the character sprites and dossier screens look nice but the backgrounds are pretty lame and don’t add much to the game at all. The “finger” that types within the Porsche’s on-board dossier screen (and also picks your letters for your high score name) is hysterically bad looking and probably lowers the rating a notch by itself.

No question NARC spares no expense in the ‘tude department with its tale of Narcotics officers punishing crime by making arrests, punching it to the max in their Porsche and blasting away dudes with weapons that seem more like army issue. However it goes even further with super rotten criminals who badly need rehabilitation and all the cocaine bags and dirty money that you can stuff in your pockets (…to be turned in of course)! Being able to blow up enemies into a pile of burnt chunks is truly one of the gnarliest things you can do on the Nintendo and I would rank this near the top of the ‘tudiest games on the NES list without a doubt just based on this one bodacious thing alone!

Good game While many direct ports on the NES were disappointing compared to their arcade big brother (*cough* Bad Dudes), NARC certainly ranks as one of the better ones and is a great addition to your Nintendo collection especially when you factor in its overall ‘tude appeal. I’m surprised at how much R-rated material was allowed to make it into the final product on the kid-friendly 8-bit console considering how many other games had to go through the strict Nintendo censoring process when transferring their I.P. to the NES but it’s here. We should be thankful too because much like Mortal Kombat, this game would have suffered greatly if you altered it too much from its source material which would have alienated fans from an otherwise pretty decent multiplayer action game. In other words, NARC is one of the TRUEST examples of ‘tude, showcasing its direct impact to its subject here perfectly adding flair and pizzazz which polishes up the final product to a blood-splattering/drug-infested shine just like its stand-up cabinet cousin intended. …Almost brings a tear to my eye.  Without question, NARC’s most criminal gaming offense lies within its strange controls adapting a 4-button layout poorly to the NES’ limited 2-button rectangle requiring unnecessary appropriation. I swear, having to double-tap buttons to jump and shoot your missiles just feels wrong and never reaches a point of comfort for me no matter how many times I play it. Overall though, NARC’s crimes are misdemeanors compared to the litany of transgressions that many of its contemporaries have committed, helping it add satisfactory gaming “meat” to its robust portion of ‘tudey “potatoes.” In the end, NARC is certainly far from perfect but it’s still a good time with friends or not and should be played by everyone at least once if for no other reason just to experience the 8-bit magnificence of blowing up an enemy to shreds with your rocket launcher (guaranteed laugh)! So if Porsche’s, big guns and justice are your thing (…and they better be), sign up for NARC today and take down Mr. Big and his band of misfits dead or alive… whichever you prefer.

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“How do I get reservations for Hotel Le Snob ?”

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