A Retro Review – F-Zero

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presents a 


by

	(SNES)
	(Racing)
	(Single-player)
	(Coolness guaranteed)
	(Great game)
	*LOVE that soundtrack *Controls respond with pinpoint precision *Speed, speed and more speed
	*Would have been incredible with 2 player split-screen *Collision detection is too sensitive *A little lacking in depth
	Bucking Nintendo’s typical first-party approach of safety nets and training wheels, F-Zero zooms past the competition in record time displaying some the best chops in the racing genre bar none no matter the system or console

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Story

The year is 2560 and racing has evolved from boring cars that touch the road to hovercrafts that float inches off of the ground and rocket up to speeds around 300 mph. The top 4 racers in F-Zero – Captain Falcon, Dr. Stuart, Pico and Samurai Goroh are all vying for the glory of winning the F-Zero Grand Prix. Fame and riches await the champion but who can survive the hazards while also keeping the pedal to the floor?

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Overview 

F-Zero is a high-speed racing game where you control a futuristic hovercraft and navigate closed-circuit courses whilst avoiding other racers and random hazards from starting point to finish line. 2 different game modes include “Grand Prix” which features 3 unique leagues and 5 races/tracks in each against a.i. opponents as well as “Practice” which allows you to race on individual tracks with either 1 or no other opponent present. Blast through 5 laps on each track as fast as possible and avoid finishing beyond the podium to proceed to the next race in Grand Prix mode. Along the way, all of your best times are saved so that you can always go back and attempt to set a new mark on each track.

There are 4 crafts to choose from – The Blue Falcon (good for beginners), The Golden Fox (great acceleration but flimsy structure), The Wild Goose (can take a beating but horrible off the line) and The Fire Stingray (fastest top speed but supremely heavy) all offering a unique playstyle and feel with which to appropriate to players of all varieties. After each lap, a boost is rewarded to your pilot which can be stored and used at any time but beware the many different hazards that litter the 15 different courses such as landmines, ice and jumps that can send you flying off the track. Discover the best line and straddle the delicate balance of risk/reward to conquer each track and become the ultimate F-Zero champion! 

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Cast

Captain Falcon/Blue Falcon (main protagonist/main antagonist) Ace bounty hunter with a moonlight Grand Prix addiction

Dr. Stewart/Golden Fox (main protagonist/main antagonist) Cocky pretty-boy surgeon with an F-Zero pedigree

Pico/Wild Goose (main protagonist/main antagonist) Mysterious alien racer with a reckless style

Samurai Goroh/Fire Stingray (main protagonist/main antagonist) Fueled by his hatred for Captain Falcon… not afraid to rock the pink

Generic Racer (antagonist support) Making up the rest of the circuit, these nameless wannabes mainly serve as to-be-passed fodder

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Blast Processing Huh? (XL section)

“Dude, I think I’m going WAY too fast !!!” Man… if this is the future that’s in store for us in the 26th century then maybe I really do need to look into that cryo freezing thing…… YIKES maybe not! I can still remember looking ahead as a child in the 80’s and 90’s. *The Year 2000* It sounded so magical as if somehow all of our sci-fi movie dreams were going to come true as soon as the clock struck midnight to start the new millennium. Flying cars and interstellar travel ? NO PROBLEM… it’s the year 2000!

Unfortunately, none of the amazing things that the movies promised us became real and it turned out to be just another dumb trip around the Sun without the ability to teleport or time travel… OH WELL . Despite the year 2000 not living up to all of its sci-fi potential, games like F-Zero give me hope at least for future generations that maybe we just might reach that cool Star Wars like reality someday. At least they were smart to set their time period much later so no one has to be disappointed if it doesn’t come to fruition in their lifetimes (though there better be flying cars by the 2500’s or my soul will STILL find a way to be disappointed). 

F-Zero is a high-octane balls-to-the-walls racing game where traditional automobiles have been replaced with super high velocity jet-powered hovercrafts dueling each other at breakneck speeds on 15 different tracks across 3 different leagues. There are 2 different race modes to choose from- Grand Prix and Practice. In Grand Prix, you’ll first pick from one of the 4 available racers as well as select your opponents difficulty level from 3 different settings (beginner, standard and expert) before swapping paint with the other 3 crafts (along with a glut of cpu-controlled generic vehicles) as you make your way through each league with 5 races apiece. The goal in this mode is to maintain a top-3 finish in each stage so that you can advance to the next track until eventually reaching the end but beware falling too far out of a place let alone all of the regular dangers that come with throttling around these twitchy futuristic courses at crazy speeds. In Practice, you’ll choose your craft, select if you want to compete against 1 other computer-controlled opponent or not and race on each track individually which is the preferred mode for setting record times. 

The 4 different racers are eccentric and interesting and they all offer a contrasting feel and unique stats allowing for more forms of accessibility. Captain Falcon , the star of the game, is an authoritative bounty hunter who pilots the average-across-the-board Blue Falcon . Dr. Stewart is a suave and arrogant M.D. (hope he’s not on call) who pilots the super fast accelerating/weak body structure Golden Fox . Pico is a dangerous and cold hearted hit-man who pilots the nearly indestructible/slow accelerating Wild Goose . Samurai Goroh  is a cunning and lawless pirate who pilots the high end top-speed/super-heavy Fire Stingray .

Finding the racer that feels best for you is paramount to helping you succeed to get those better track records (Fire Stingray’s my guy) so the more time spent appropriating yourself to the 4 pilots the better. Each vehicle certainly feels dramatically different which provides a nice range of options right off of the bat. Unfortunately, there are only 2 different modes which feels a little sparse and the lack of split-screen support definitely hurts but what is here does feel satisfying enough especially if you consider the games release date (1991 in the U.S.). The ability to save your best times (for example) adds a ton of replay value and allows for a sort-of 2 player mode as the controller is passed back-and-forth to try and break current track records which is a nice consolation.

The course variety is good and each new race brings a complex challenge such as jumping the track in White Land II or navigating the crazy “screen push” in either Death Wind stage just to name a few. Most of the hazards are tricky and annoying (god I hate that magnet bar thingy ) but by far the most scream-inducing frustration is the pinball-like hit detection when you slam into another racer. No matter where I collide with another craft, I get sent into an unpredictable tailspin that usually results in my craft smacking into the electric barrier several times. It’s for this reason that I stick to the “Practice” mode when I’m trying to set new track records as you can choose to race against one other rival, or no one at all, while also learning the layouts of the different courses at a more reasonable pace.

The controls are excellent in F-Zero and everything feels proper and smooth which is nice considering your ridiculous speed at all times. This is the kind of game control-wise that I LOVE as you (the player) gain experience with every second that your playing it rewarding long-term enthusiasts. Mastering the shoulder buttons to make those sharp turns, knowing the right place on the track to use your boosts and learning when to throttle/brake are all examples of how you can shave seconds on your time and each craft has distinctive handling which showcase the uniqueness of the great controls found here.

The music in F-Zero RULES (I’m rocking out to the Big Blue theme you can find at the top of the page right now ) and it perfectly accompanies the supersonic speed of the game with its fast tempo style and pulse thumping beats. There doubly impressive to me to because they sound way ahead of their time which fits the futuristic concept like a glove. Even though some of the sound effects aren’t the most memorable things I’ve ever heard, that explosion sure sounds tight when your vehicle blows up so thumbs up there ! Did I mention the music rules? …Oh I did, well it deserves mentioning again because it really does! You’ll be hard pressed to find anything cooler and more ‘tude-filled in this entire era.

The graphics were freaking awesome looking when the game was released and showcased the power of the Super Nintendo’s Mode 7 visual style quite well. Despite some “fuzziness” at times, I still find them appealing today as the 4 main crafts all look distinguishable while the different levels all contain a cool color design and trippy background. Seriously though, what the heck are those crazy structures back there in Port Town, clam shell condominiums ? Most of the surrounding backdrops contain some kind of strange but interesting object like this and it adds depth to the visuals though it is harder to appreciate (and not recommended) when your zipping around hairpins trying not to die.

The ‘Tude Meter pulses with delight as it scans this super rad, certain-death, hyper-speed, holy #%@&, racing game which is a welcome change from Nintendo’s typical first-party mantra. I guess maybe it would be even more ‘tudey if you could shoot missiles or whatever at each other during the race but to hell with that man… here in the F-Zero world, we live our life one quarter-mile at a time  (or 5 laps at a time… whichever)! In other words, speed KILLS dude and it’s just as badass as blowing people up according to the laws of coolness though the game still provides explosions and death just to ensure its place among the edgy elite!

I can’t contain myself… I LOVE F-ZERO! This game feels like wearing a tailored suit that’s just for me. It has just about everything I could ever ask for in a racing game – tight and responsive controls, killer music, a nice variety of crafts & tracks and a super cool futuristic premise that sated my youthful thirst for brand new ideas set in a far distant time period. No doubt about it, F-Zero is one-of-a-kind and supplies extreme racing fun around every twist and turn. Maybe this is SNES Blast Processing!?

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Critical Analysis

4/5 While the in-game racing is as-good-as-it-gets with mega high speeds mixed with hazards, the lack of game modes prevents this rating from being even higher. I really wish their was a 2 player split-screen mode or a more in-depth a.i. as many of the head-to-head races in Grand Prix feel rubberbanded to keep the cpu close to you no matter how well your driving. The negativity ends there however as F-Zero brings it in every other way and having a battery backup to save your track data was huge and boosted the replay value ten-fold as it allowed for many prideful records to be set for your friends to attempt to break with their futile efforts (HA HA)!

5/5 Man does this game feel good with its perfectly sensitive controls that put you right in the driver’s seat. Navigating the many sharp curves and avoiding the obstacles/other drivers while boosting your craft fast enough to stay in contention couldn’t possibly feel any more right on the money and having 4 different pilots to choose from only added to the distinctiveness of these awesome handles. Your brain will tickle with pleasure when you turn at just the right time or hit the speed boost arrows and it’s beyond satisfying when you nail that “perfect line” in a race which makes you feel like your in the zone!

5/5 Whether bopping your head to Big Blue’s super catchy theme or cowering in fear to the ominous and bass-heavy tones of the Death Wind stages, the music in F-Zero kicks major ass and should be considered among the best of this entire generation (as well as all time). The sound effects all work fine but I do kind of wish that the different crafts had unique throttle noises but it’s not much of a critique at all in the grand scheme. Now time to hit play on that sound bar again…

4/5 While Mode 7 was a cool and unique graphical style that lent itself well to this time period (as it created a pseudo 3-D effect), it has aged some and is the most noticeable whenever observing the flat city or whatever happens to be surrounding the track that you’re on. It’s totally not bad though as it looks great at fast speeds (which is what you’ll be seeing most of the time anyways) and never feels choppy. I also love the many different colors that you’ll observe on the tracks and the backgrounds/skylines which are totally rad and always get my imagination flowing.

This game has ‘tude bursting out the seams with its death race premise and crazy fast speeds that would make Sonic the Hedgehog grip the door handle with white knuckles! While the Genesis loved to brag about their Blast Processing and how much faster their games were compared to the Super Nintendo’s, it’s good to see the SNES clap back with an over-the-top racing affair such as this which not only served to debunk Sega’s propaganda but also provided a badass exclusive racing experience in its own right. Extra points for adding turbo to the crafts as well… WHEN YOUR ALREADY GOING 300 MPH !!!

Great game One of The ‘Tude Dude’s personal favorite SNES games of all time Dude, what else can I really say other than F-Zero has and will forever be my absolute favorite racing series to date! I mean, you zip blitzing future cars across a multitude of vibrantly trippy-looking planets with excellently responsive controls all while a rip-roaring soundtrack pulses in the background to a rhythmic cadence that corrals your focus into a Zen-like engine of unrelenting mayhem! It reminds me more of racing jets in a way, other than cars, which raises this game’s uniqueness from other driving titles of this era foregoing much of the slippery stubbornness that associates itself with those pesky rubber wheels and putting straight-line speed to the top of the priority list where it belongs. …And from Nintendo no less – the sticklers for 10 and 2 driving?! Yeah Sega, how’s that “we’re SO much faster than you are” propaganda working out for you again???   There are a few gripes that are inescapable such as the lack of 2 player support, bad hit-detection and a not-so deep Grand Prix but these complaints fade away into the background quickly when you’re having too much fun narrowly escaping death at rapid speeds either by yourself or against the computer. As far as F-Zero is concerned, the greatest competition comes from within anyways constantly tantalizing players to set a new bar of excellence on a difficult track for pride and gloating purposes. It’s these types of releases that grind gamers into twitchy cyborgs, increasing hand-eye coordination and reflex awareness beyond the status quo synthesizing our collective mindset towards a heightened sense of consciousness and I’m ALL for it (the path to enlightenment starts with a single boost in this universe)! Best way to sum it up – There are many fun racing games in this generation (and beyond) but none of them feel like F-Zero and I simply can’t recommend it enough. With as much genuine endorsement as I could possibly muster, strap yourself into the cockpit of one of these hovercrafts as soon as humanly possible if you haven’t yet and prepare yourself for a breakneck, city-jumping, turbo-boosting adventure unlike any other!

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“Man, those Death Wind levels really BLOW!“

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